Spotted in Paris: The Late Night Menu

You know how it is with babies and their evening shenanigans. There's music. There's dancing. A few drinks. Or more.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor
 without holding on.

But this famously fun concoction has a potent side effect: the munchies.

Kid knows what I'm talking about.

And at 3am, who cares what you're consuming? As long as it's cheap, fried and/or covered in chocolate.

Aw, yeah...

Let's face it, the typical late night menu is about as classy as a TOWIE wedding. Unless you're in Paris. In which case, it's gourmet dining all the way. Don't believe me? Have a look:

THE LATE NIGHT MENU

STARTER:

Croque-Monsieur:
As delicious as it looks.

MAIN COURSE:

Moules-frites:
Mussels at midnight. Mmm.

DESSERT:

 

 

Crepes:
Need I say more?

So whatever these hell-raisers get up to, at least in Paris, it'll taste good.

Okay, Billy, you're our designated driver.
You've watched more Noddy than the rest of us.

Spotted in London: The Holiday Diet

There's nothing like coming home for Christmas. The family. The presents. The good food... Oh no, wait. Scratch that last one. Because I am being forced to go on a diet. Why?


Well, while in Ghana, I managed to contract malaria. And typhoid. (I know, I skipped that, but who likes hearing vomit stories?) It was pretty bad while it lasted, but upon returning to London, fully recovered (and ten pounds lighter), I was looking forward to stuffing my face in a way that is only acceptable during the holidays.


I didn't realise I'd be held hostage by my stomach. Like a reverse grinch, it has apparently shrunk three sizes. Or more.

Insert evil laugh here.

So at the moment, an average meal for me tends to look like this:

I'm so full.

The most annoying part is that I still feel hungry. I just can't eat more than baby mouse. Apparently this is normal, and my appetite should be back soon. But in the meantime, I can revel in the fact that it only takes me eight hours to eat a Crunch bar. Silver linings!

Spotted in Tamale: Stalker Kitties

In case you didn't know, Ghana is hot.

As hot as it is in Accra, though - and it's getting close to dry season - that's nothing compared to Northern Ghana. Specifically, the region's capital, Tamale. The weird thing about Tamale heat, is that it seemingly increases at night. Weird.

The city itself, though, is very cool. The godforsakenly long time it took for us to drive there was definitely worth the sights, such as the Tamale Central Mosque:

The biggest mosque I've ever seen.

Seriously, this place is huge. And pretty.

 We also visited the Pikaro Slave Camp, which was a strangely harrowing experience. There aren't many places that are so simultaneously desolate and beautiful.

An interesting welcome.

View from high up on the rocks. Feels like the savannah.

Place where captured slaves used to eat.

Not as social as it sounds. 

But the scenery is awesome.

En route to Pikaro, we had a little extra time, and so decided to check out the Ghana-Burkina Faso border. The nice border patrol guys even let us take a picture on the Burkina side. So, I guess I can check that off the list.

Welcome to Burkina Faso!

And I can't forget to give a shout out to the little stalker cat that may or may not have had rabies, but kept a close eye on us in our lovely Tamale accommodations. 


Good bye, stalker kitty. You were cute. And scary.

Oh, hey. What?
 I'm just hanging.

Spotted in Lomé: Cheese!

The drive from Ghana to Togo is easily one of the most enjoyable three-hour treks in the world. Just ignore the ridiculously pot-hole laden stretch of road leading up to the Ghanaian border town of Aflao. Also, the rampant dust bunnies - Aflao is quite literally the dustiest place on the planet.

We're gonna need an industrial hoover.

Funnily enough, as soon as you step across the border to Lomé, the scenery is completely different. No dust at all. Just an expanse of gold, sandy beach and a single asphalt road stretching off to distant Benin. Sound picturesque enough for you? It is.

Just an average beach in Lomé.

Looks straight out of a scene from Miami Vice.

Best thing about Togo? Cheese! After the relative dairy desert of Ghana, it was great to be able to bite into a cheese baguette. Mmm.

Of course, we can't forget the drive back through Ghana's Volta region. Again, the scenery is absolutely stunning. If I were a landscape, I'd be jealous.

These marshes apparently look a lot deeper than they are.
Does that make them shallow?

Heading back to Accra. Bye bye Volta!

Spotted in Accra: The Bachelor

Trying food in a foreign country is like speed dating for your taste buds. After a barrage of new flavours and spices, I'll admit, my tongue is feeling a little promiscuous. In a good way.


Here is a sample platter of my favourite suitors, so far:

Red red and plantains: Perfect if you have afternoon to while away...
Because this will put you to sleep.

Ampesi (Boiled yam), cassava and palaver sauce - Yummy.

Jollof rice (of course) and plantains. 

Omo Tuo (Rice balls) and groundnut soup - perfect whenever, wherever.

Fan Ice. Because a dessert isn't a dessert unless you suck it out of a bag.

But the ultimate winner has to be: the egg sandwich.

Surprising, I know. But once you've tried one of these delicious offerings from the lovely ladies of Labone, you'll never look back.  Best sandwiches in the world? Probably an understatement.

The Ryan Gosling of the sandwich world.

Spotted in Cape Coast: His Royal Highness

Akwaaba!

So, a lot of you lovely people have been asking, "Why Ghana?" 

"Why not New York/London/My House?" 

Well.

I hope this little slideshow is an adequate response...

The beach near Coconut Grove Resort.
Or the set of Muppet Treasure Island, take your pick. 

Watching fishing boats from Elmina Castle.

You can't see them, but there are more crabs here than in bikini bottom.

Our house at Coconut Grove.
Also, incidentally, the residence of a certain member of royalty.

Yes, the Coconut Grove Resort in Cape Coast is one of the most beautiful places on the planet.

But it hasn't all been fun and games.

In between strolls along the beach, taking in the sights and slurping down fresh piña coladas, I've also been meeting royalty.

In particular, the Huge-Mother-Loving-King-of-a-Cockroach that popped by to say hi, while I was in the shower.

Nice guy....
A little too friendly.

Your Grace, you were truly impressive, and any screaming that occurred on my part was purely down to the sheer awe of your presence. And your antennae.

Welcome to Ghana!

Spotted in Edinburgh: Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2011

So if you haven't been to Scotland, you need to go, sharpish. 

Not just because it's Awesome-James McAvoy-Country. It also hosts the best annual fringe theatre/music/comedy festival in the world. 

The Edinburgh Fringe. One month. Thousands of shows. Hundreds of venues. And I guarantee, the only place you can see all of this:

Fluffy could see this was going to be a tough crowd.

We'll see what PETA says about this...

Great weather for ducks...

Shakespeare meets Samuel Beckett.

All the cool cats go to the Fringe...

'OMG! Was that John Malkovich?'

'With these humanoid disguises, we'll blend right in...'

Just remember, what happens in Edinburgh, stays in Edinburgh. Unless you're this chick:

Barbie soon realised that her dreams of being a serious
actress had gone out the window...